So yes, this is my
brand new and shiny now a few years old FAQ. These questions have never actually been asked before, so the name is actually a bit misleading, but I thought I'd do one anyway because I like to feel important enough that people will want to ask me the same questions over and over again.
If you have a good question that you'd like to see an equally good answer to on this here webpage, leave me a message on my tagboard thing or email it to me or something.
Q. How do I pronounce BHEC? Is it just "bee-aych-ee-see"?
A. NO. You pronounce it "BEE-hek." Don't ask me why, just do it.
Q. I want to adopt your dolls. Can I?
A. Aw, this question isn't even relevant anymore because no-one has a doll site these days and you can't do adopting on deviantART, but I just don't have the heart to delete it. YOU CAN STILL ADOPT MY DOLLS IF YOU WANT TO YEAH KEEP THE TRADITION ALIVE GUYS.
Q. How do you make your dolls?
A. With long periods of time between them.
Q. Why do your dolls look bad?
A. GEE I DON'T KNOW MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A DICK.
Q. Where are all the tutorials/doll makers/contests/bases/various other resources?
A. On the websites of better people.
Q. Why isn't there anything useful here?
A. Because I knew you'd be coming so I got rid of it all just to irritate you SORRY.
Q. How did you make your layout?
A. With MS Paint and Notepad and the sketchiest fucking code you ever saw.
Q. Why doesn't the layout work properly in [insert browser name here]?
A. Because apparently I'm shit.
Q. Do you take requests for dolls?
Q. You haven't updated for a month/six months/a whole fucking year. What gives?
A. I would say that I have a real life and it's getting in the way, but that would be a lie. I'm probably taking photos of myself with instagram and then putting them on tumblr like some kind of twat.
Q. What's this about being a published author?
A. I had a story published in issue 7 (the red issue) of Filament in December 2010. You probably shouldn't buy a copy unless you're over 18/good at hiding things from your parents. Except you should buy a copy anyway because why the fuck wouldn't you want a magazine full of dicks.
Q. So you spend your spare time writing porn, then?
A. ye boy.
Q. Is your site really sponsored by badgers?
Q. I've got to say, this FAQ gets more and more vulgar every time you update it.
A. I know, it's fucking fab innit.
Q. WHY ARE YOU STILL UP YOU HAVE WORK IN A FEW HOURS.
Q. This is for real the most hilarious thing I have ever read. Also you are a bit mental.
A. I am a goldmine of comedy. Also yes, I have been mental for a long time but I'm only just now letting it roam free in the wilds.
A. Depression does weird things to you. Mostly it's sad but sometimes it's really really funny.